


Justice Society of Japan: Parallel Works #2: Rivalz' Bizarre Adventure (APRIL FOOLS STORY!)

by Edrobot



Series: Justice Society of Japan [3]
Category: Code Geass, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, April Fools, Everybody just have a good time, Gen, Justice Society of Japan AU, Parody, Party Rockers in the House Tonight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2014-04-01
Packaged: 2018-01-17 23:06:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1405942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edrobot/pseuds/Edrobot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little something I wrote for April Fools day. Do note that the actual Justice Society of Japan story is much better written (though there's no JJBA characters in it... yet).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Justice Society of Japan: Parallel Works #2: Rivalz' Bizarre Adventure (APRIL FOOLS STORY!)

Rivalz Cardmonde sat at his desk and sighed. “Man, I would love to go on some kind of amazing adventure, but I don’t have any superpowers.”

Suddenly, a vampire ninja burst through the door! “RIVALZ, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WILL SAVE THE FUTURE SO NOW I MUST KILL YOU!” he said as he lept through the air at the speed of light.

“OH NO!” Rivalz said but then something began to glow and a strange humanoid appeared to punch the vampire to death. It looked like a ninja robot with glowing red eyes that could dual-wield katanas.

Unfortunantly, killing a vampire doesn’t make it dead, so the vampire came back to unlife and said “SO, THIS IS THE POWER THAT MASTER DIO SEEKS. I MUST KILL YOU EVEN HARDER NOW!” But the vampire couldn’t kill Rivalz because suddenly a purple guy punched the vampire to life, making it dead.

“ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!” the purple guy shouted.

Moments later, an old man and a guy with a cool hat entered the room.

“I’m Joseph Joestar.” said the old man. “We came from the past to stop my evil twin stepbrother, a vampire named Dio Brando who has come back to life in the future to try and take over the present.” He pointed to the guy with the cool hat. “This is my grandson, Jotaro. He just saved your life with the power of his Stand, Star Platinum (the purple guy), because you are destined to save the future with your stand, which is the most powerful Stand of all time.”

Jotaro rolled his eyes. “Don’t think I like you or anything.” But this was a lie, because in his heart Jotaro knew that Rivalz would be his biggest rival.

“Okay! Let’s get the justice league!” Rivalz said.

“There’s no time!” said Joseph. “The justice leagues are already fighting his forces, we have to go after Dio himself!”

Suddenly a Cyborg ninja appeared. He was the owner of the robot ninja stand, and he also had glowing red eyes and katanas. “I am Xerxes Tireiron Dada.” he said. “My Stand is Party Rock Anthem, and it lets me travel through time to get Joseph and Jotaro and you to save my future.”

“Nice to meet you!” Rivalz extended his hand in fiendship.

“Herrmf!” Xerxes Tireiron Dada snubbed at Rivalz. But this was a lie, because in his heart Xerxies knew that Rivalz would be his biggest rival. “Now lets go get Dio before it’s too late.”

Xerxes Tireiron Dada’s stand transformed into a hot rod, and they all rode to Dio’s secret base in North Korea. “Right before he died, Dio sent his soul forwards in time using his Stand’s secret power of sending souls forward in time. He then convinced Jim Kong Il to make a new body for him, but then he betrayed Jim and took over for himself, ruling behind the shadows.”

That’s horrible”! Rivalz said.

“I know. And that’s why we’re going to stop him!” said Joseph.

So they got to North Korea, and ran into Dio’s right-hand man. He was a 9 foot tall samurai with a chainsaw sword, with a Stand that looked like a Cyborg dragon.

“I am Oda Nobunaga!” he said. “Lord Dio has revived me so that may kill people for him!”

Not going to happen” said Jotaro. He and Xerxies Tireiron Dada attacked with their stands but it didn’t work and both nearly died.

“Fool!” said Oda. “My stand is called Space Jam, and it has the power to win any fight that can be won!”

“Oh no! That has to be the strongest stand!” said Joseph. “It’s all over! Dio has won!”

Rivalz got really angry. So angry that his Stand suddenly manifested. It looked like a big green dinosuar in Knight armor carrying a laser gun. It also had an eyepatch and teeth made of gold.

“Well maybe your stand can beat any battle that can be won, but what about a battle you can only lose!”

Rivalz then fought Oda with his stand and won, because Rivalz stand has the power to make it so that he cannot lose any battle.

“This is the power of my Stand… SIDE OF A BULLET!”

“OH NOOOOOOOOOO!” Oda screamed. And then he exploded because he was a kind of vampire that explodes when un-killed.

“Pfft. Show-off.” Jotaro spat on the ground to hide how awesome he thoght Rivalz was.

So then they all went to the inner sanctum, where Dio was sitting on a throne. And in his clutches was none other than… MILLY ASHFORD!

“So, Rivalz. It seems that our destined encounter is now destined to happen now.” said Dio.

He threw Milly to the floor, and kicked her in the face because he was an asshole. “To highen the dramatic tension, I have kidnapped your love intrest, and have been doing all kinds of evil things to her because I am evil!”

“You don’t mean… did you rape her?” Rivalz shouted angrily in a manly way.

“What? Hell no; I’m not that evil.” Dio then kicked a puppy. Now we must fight to the death!”

Joseph, Jotaro and Xerxies Tire Iron Dada all tried attacking Dio using their stands again, but Dio’s Stand now had it’s own Stand that had the power to punch other stands really well and also had the power to cancell Rival’s stand (though Rivalz didn’t use it yet because he figured this would happen).

“Oh no! That has to be the strongest stand! For real this time!” said Joseph. “It’s all over! Dio has won!”

“No he hasn’t!” said Rivalz. “Because as long as we can fight there is hope!”

“Hope? Hope is for the weak and foolish!” said Dio. But this was a lie, because in his heart Dio knew that Rivalz would be his biggest rival.

“No, hope is for the strong! Let me show you what I mean by that!” Rivalz then tapped into his true potential and his Stand changed into it’s second form. It still looked like a big green dinosuar in Knight armor carrying a laser gun, but it allso had a bandolier full of vampire-killing stakes and it was also wearing a fedora.

“Behold! SIDE OF A BULLET REQUIEM!”

“WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” screamed Dio as he fought Rivalz.

“YOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL” screamed Rivalz’s stand.

“Grr, this guy is tough.” thought Dio. “Looks like I’ll have to break out the power of… ZA WARUDO!” Then Dio used The World (his stand) to stop time with it’s Za Warudo attack. But Dio discovered that while his Stand could stop time, Rivalz’s stand could stop space, which somehow made Dio’s attack not work and Rivalz beat Dio up a lot.

“NOOO! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE” Dio said.

“Well you know what they say!” said Rivalz. “It’s not impossible when someone does the thing that people think is impossible!”

And then Dio died with a smile on his face, for he had at been beaten by a true warrior.

With Dio out of the way, Rivalz went to check on Milly. “Milly, are you OK?” asked Rivalz.

Milly batted her eyelashes femininely, with her luxurious blonde curls billowing in the wind. “Now that you’re hear I am.” She was faint of breath not only because of the harrowing experiance she had been through, but also because of the attire she was wearing at the fancy party Dio kidnapped her from. It was a fancy red ballgown paired with a silk corset that perfectly cradled Milly’s massive, softball-sized breasts.

Milly began to blush. “Rivalz, this harrowing incident has inspired me to make a confession. I’ve played hard to get with you for lots of years, and now I feel I can finally admit that I love-

\-------------------------

“Rivalz. What are you writing?”

Rivalz heart skipped a beat as he hastily slammed his laptop shut, and turned to face Shirley. “NOTHING!” he blurted. “I WAS DOING MATH HOMEWORK.”

Shirley crossed her arms in puzzlement “That must be one weird math class you’re taking...”

Rivalz facepalmed. How could he forget Shirley’s technopathy? Hell, she probably read the whole thing by accident…

“Well if you must know…” Rivalz said. “I’m writing some fan-fiction.”

“Fan-fiction?” asked Shirley.

“Yeah. You know, stories about anime and stuff.”

“HA! What a perfectly pathetic plebian thing to do!” Electra Pendragon suddenly walked into the room, wearing an Ashford Academy uniform (with golden gauntlets, for some reason). “Why, I think that people who write fanfiction are the most worthless people on earth. Especially when they use incredibly obvious strawmen to invoke meta-humor.” She shen kicked a puppy because she was evil. “Anyway, I just want to let you know that I’ve joined this academy so that I can enact a secret plot to destroy all of you, except that I have fallen madly in love with Lelouch Lamperouge.”

“You can’t do that!” said Shirley. “I’m madly in love with Lelouch Lamperogue!”

“What? But I’m madly in love with Lelouch Lamperogue!” said C. C.

“Yeah, so am I!” said Ino.

“I am too!” said Shinji. “...Is what I would say if I were gay. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that…)”

“That goes for me as well!” said Excell Excell as she popped out of a trash can. “In fact I had also joined the academy so that I can make a secret plan to destroy everyone but I’m okay with dropping that plan because a redundant story arc wouldn’t be very fun for the readers!”

Then Lelouch walked into the room. “I have so many admirers!” he thought. “And I need to choose one before my father dies because I’m secretly a prince! What a conundrum!”

“Man, this story has really jumped the shark.” said Lightning.

But then Simon said; “No, Lightning. YOU ARE THE SHARKS!”

And then Code Geass was a harem comedy.  


* * *

 

_**April fools!** But yeah. The next chapter real chapter of  JSJ is coming soon._


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